Questioning Authority

It’s fair to say that my interest in what constitutes normalcy owes alot to when I was born. Last month, I turned 50, which means I was born in 1958, towards the tail end of the Baby Boom. I attended high school in the mid-1970’s, in the shadow of Woodstock. At age 13 I read The Greening of America by Charles Reich, sitting in the back seat of my parent’s car on our way down to the Jersey shore. This book had an enormous effect on me, at that impressionable age. It’s a very naive book, written by an academic, and attempts to explain, in dry sociologial language, the so-called counter-culture movement of the late Sixties. To me, it was a guide book, initiating me into the mysteries of the party I had just missed by a few years. I can’t say it changed my life, but at the time it was earth-shattering.

Suddenly, my middle-class family, squashed into the Plymouth Valiant crawling down the Parkway towards the beach, seemed very different from me. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say, I felt very different from them. This marked the beginning of my journey away from Normal. By age 14 I was smoking pot for the first time, and by 15 I was smoking it every day, cutting classes with my comrades. The fact that I maintained my place on the Honor Roll merely added to a growing sense of alienation. I could fit in, do the expected things, while teachers and parents had no idea that I saw through it all. They didn’t know how things “really” were. Only we did: the cool ones. The ones who got high, and knew what was really going on. Straight people didn’t have a clue.

Professor Reich was wrong, though. The Revolution never came. The hippies got bored, bought SUVs and got jobs as stock brokers (there’s a great song by the Bobs about that) in three-piece suits, snorting coke instead of smoking hash. They sold out, as we used to say. No one questions authority anymore. No one normal, that is.

Published in: on July 10, 2008 at 12:53 am Leave a Comment

So here I am, back in Normalville

Smiling againIt’s supposed to take a week or two for Prozac to take effect, but here it is, day four, and I’m feeling pretty much my old self again. Does this mean the Prozac is working again? Or does it mean that the withdrawal symptoms are gone because I’m back on the sauce? Is this a physical addiction problem? I don’t think anyone knows, which is odd. There’s millions of people who have taken or are taking Prozac. It was first developed in the 1970’s, and released in the US in 1987, so it’s definitely been around for a very long time. But do a search on the Web and you’ll find all kinds of conflicting information about Prozac, including the recent study announcing that it doesn’t work. I guess 40 million people can be wrong. Because, if a scientific study says it’s so, it must be so. Thus is reality defined.

The lack of clear information about one of the most widely-prescribed drugs in history is very odd. Chances are, if you’re reading this blog entry, it’s because you were desperately trying to find out what the withdrawal symptoms of Prozac are. And I’ll bet what you found was something like this: “Since Prozac has such a long half-life, withdrawal symptoms are usually minor. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” What are those symptoms, though? Good luck finding a mention of them. For Prozac, it’s just not a problem.

Um, okay, but what just happened to me over the last seven weeks? Lack of energy, inability to read and comprehend, irritability, nausea, dizziness, sudden anger, sleep disruptions, and even a day when suicide was looking pretty inviting. After seven weeks, things were getting worse, not better, and so I decided to put myself back on Prozac. (Luckily, I still had some refills on my prescription.)

I suppose it seems obvious that I cannot stop taking Prozac, now or ever. I don’t think the withdrawal symptoms were “the real me”. And it is possible that had I waited long enough, I may have ridden out the symptoms and gotten free of it.

Luckily, I am self-employed. God knows what would’ve happened had I been trying to hold down an office job while going through that. Quite likely I would have lost my job, or at the very least performed very badly. According to the experts, Prozac doesn’t work, and getting off of it is no big deal. Well, in my case, they were wrong on both counts. Does this mean I’m not normal?

Published in: on July 8, 2008 at 4:29 pm Comments (2)
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