So what is normal, anyway?
This has become a topic of more than passing interest to me lately, so much so that I’ve decided to finally begin my first personal blog, as a way to journal, and perhaps shed a little light on the question. What brought all this on is that after 15 or so years of being on Prozac, I decided I no longer needed to be on it, and took my last dose on May 20, 2008, which was about seven weeks ago. I had gradually reduced the dosage over several years, from a high of 60mg down to 20 for the last year. And then took 20 every other day for two weeks, and stopped.
Since Prozac has a long half-life (it takes weeks to leave your system completely), it’s sort of “self-weening” anyway. Just stop and it will gradually decrease all by itself, the thinking goes. So I was being extra careful, I thought. I was surprised that there were withdrawal symptoms (if that’s what they are). I’ve come to the conclusion that I cannot get off, as the symptoms have only gotten worse.
Is this just who I am?
So if all the Prozac is out of my system now, then the question arises: are these withdrawal symptoms, or is this just who I am? Maybe this, for me, is normal. Good god, I hope not! Am I really so irritable? So quick to anger? So impulsive? So incredibly critical? During the last seven weeks, I seem to have alternating “good days” and “bad days.” On good days I have what I consider “normal” (that word again) levels of energy and well being. On bad days, I can’t think straight, have low energy, sort of like the flu. This situation has led me to think I am going through withdrawal. So what about the other nastiness? Is that withdrawal, too? Or is this the person I am when I’m not on Prozac?
Despite what you hear, Prozac does work
Prozac entered my life 15 years ago, and maybe in another post, another time, I will tell that tale. Let’s just say, for now, that it literally saved my life. There is not a doubt in my mind that, had I not begun taking Prozac, I would not be here today. Things were that desperate. So I’m surprised, to say the least, to hear that it doesn’t work. If it doesn’t work, I should not have any difficulty getting off it, right? But there it is, all over the media: Prozac is a big hoax.
Now, to me this is obviously not true, and it calls into question how we arrive at scientific truth, and the nature of reality, and other big stuff. If they are right, what does that mean about my experience? Am I deluded? Or am I just different (aka, “not normal”)?
Which is what this blog is all about. What is normal?
